【導讀】厄休拉·勒古恩(1929-)，美國科幻、奇幻與女性主義與青少年兒童文學作家。著有小說20余部，以及詩集、散文集、游記、文學評論多部。她曾與人合譯老子《道德經》，所獲文學獎與榮譽不計其數。由于深受老子與人類學影響，其作品常蘊含道家思想，將世界萬物與人類等量齊觀。

《妻子的故事》收錄在勒古恩1982年的短篇小說集《羅盤玫瑰》(The Compass Rose)中，小說使用第一人稱回顧視角，講述了一只狼怎樣變成狼人，然后被狼群殺死的故事。小說的故事本身并不新奇(美國文學中有數量相當可觀的關于狼人的故事)，但勒古恩別具一格的視角使用方式體現了她一貫的敘述風格和哲學思想。

【正文】

He was a good husband, a good father1. I don’t understand it. I don’t believe in it. I don’t believe that it happened. I saw it happen but it isn’t true. It can’t be. He was always gentle. If you’d have seen him playing with the children, anybody who saw him with the children would have known that there wasn’t any bad in him, not one mean bone. When I first met him he was still living with his mother, over near Spring Lake, and I used to see them together, the mother and the sons, and think that any young fellow that was that nice with his family must be one worth knowing. Then one time when I was walking in the woods I met him by himself coming back from a hunting trip. He hadn’t got any game at all, not so much as a field mouse, but he wasn’t cast down about it. He was just larking along enjoying the morning air. That’s one of the things I first loved about him. He didn’t take things hard, he didn’t grouch and whine when things didn’t go his way. So we got to talking that day. And I guess things moved right along after that, because pretty soon he was over here pretty near all the time. And my sister said — see, my parents had moved out the year before and gone south, leaving us the place — my sister said, kind of teasing but serious, “Well! If he’s going to be here every day and half the night, I guess there isn’t room for me!” And she moved out — just down the way. We’ve always been real close, her and me. That’s the sort of thing doesn’t ever change. I couldn’t ever have got through this bad time without my sis.

他曾是個好丈夫、好父親。我不明白，我不相信，我不相信事情就那樣發生了。我目睹了事情的發生，可那不是真的，根本不可能!他一向都是很溫柔的。如果你曾見過他和孩子們玩耍，只要見過他和孩子們在一起的情景，誰都知道他一點都不壞，連一根壞骨頭也沒有。我第一次遇上他時，他還和母親一起住在春湖附近，我經常看到他們在一起，母親和她那群兒子，我心想，對家人那么友好的年輕小伙肯定值得相識。有一次我在樹林里散步，看見他獨自打獵回來。他沒有打到任何獵物，就連一只田鼠也沒有，但他一點也不沮喪。他一路嬉戲，享受著清晨的空氣。我首先愛上他的就是這一點。他不會糾結，事不遂愿時也不牢騷抱怨。就這樣，那天我們開始說起話來。之后我覺得事情上路了，因為不久后他就老在我們周圍晃悠。我姐——哦，我父母一年前就搬走，去了南方，把這地方留給我倆——，我姐半開玩笑半認真地說：“好啦!如果他整天半夜都來這里的話，我看這地方就沒有我的份羅!”很快她真的搬出去了——離這兒不遠的地方。我們一直都非常親近，她和我。那是永遠都不會改變的。要不是姐兒，我根本熬不過眼下這段難捱的日子。

[2] Well, so he come to live here. And all I can say is, it was the happy year of my life. He was just purely good to me. A hard worker and never lazy, and so big and fine-looking. Everybody looked up to him, you know, young as he was. Lodge Meeting nights, more and more often they had him to lead the singing. He had such a beautiful voice, and he’d lead off strong, and the others following and joining in, high voices and low. It brings the shivers on me now to think of it, hearing it, nights when I’d stayed home from meeting when the children was babies — the singing coming up through the trees there, and the moonlight, summer nights, the full moon shining. I’ll never hear anything so beautiful. I’ll never know a joy like that again.

[2] 于是，他就過來住這兒了。不得不說，那是我人生中幸福的一年。他是全心全意地對我好。他干起活來很賣力，從不偷懶，而且塊頭很大，長相英俊。真的，雖然他年紀不大，可人人都敬他三分。居處集會之夜，越來越多的時候他們讓他領唱。他的嗓音那么動聽，領唱那么有勁，大家都跟著他高高低低地唱起來。直到現在，只要我想起這些，我都禁不住全身顫抖，仿佛又回到那些夜晚—那時孩子們還小，我留在家里，不去參加集會—，聽見那歌聲穿越樹林，還有那月色，夏夜，皎潔的圓月!我再也不會聽到如此美妙的聲音，再也不會擁有那樣的歡樂了!

[3] It was the moon, that’s what they say. It’s the moon’s fault, and the blood. It was in his father’s blood. I never knew his father, and now I wonder what become of him. He was from up Whitewater way, and had no kin around here. I always thought he went back there, but now I don’t know. There was some talk about him, tales, that come out after what happened to my husband. It’s something runs in the blood, they say, and it may never come out, but if it does, it’s the change of the moon that does it. Always it happens in the dark of the moon. When everybody’s home and asleep. Something comes over the one that’s got the curse in his blood, they say, and he gets up because he can’t sleep, and goes out into the glaring sun, and goes off all alone — drawn to find those like him.

[3] 是月亮，他們說，是月亮和血液的錯。在他父親的血液中就有了。我從不認識他父親，而現在我想知道他的來龍去脈了。他來自白水河道上游，在這附近無親無戚。我一直以為他已原路回去，但現在我不敢肯定了。我丈夫出事之后，就出現了一些關于他的風言風語。他們說，是血液里流淌著的某種東西，那東西可能永遠都不會出來，一旦出來，那就是月亮的變化讓它出來的，通常發生在月黑時分，大家都回家睡著之時。誰的血液里被種下符咒，那東西就會附在他身上，他睡不著，于是起床走到耀眼的太陽之下，獨自離開，被牽引著去尋找同類。

[4] And it may be so, because my husband would do that. I’d half rouse and say, “Where you going to?” and he’d say, “Oh, hunting, be back this evening,” and it wasn’t like him, even his voice was different. But I’d be so sleepy, and not wanting to wake the kids, and he was so good and responsible, it was no call of mine to go asking “Why?” and “Where?” and all like that.

[4] 也許他們說的不錯，因為我的丈夫就是那樣的。我會半起身地說：“你要去哪里?”他會回答：“哦，打獵，晚上就回來。”這不像他，甚至連他的聲音也變了。但是由于我太困，也不想吵醒孩子，他又是那么好，那么有責任感，我就沒有必要追問“為什么?”、“去哪里?”之類的問題了。

[5] So it happened that way maybe three times or four. He’d come back late and worn out, and pretty near cross for one so sweet-tempered —not wanting to talk about it. I figured everybody got to bust out now and then, and nagging never helped anything. But it did begin to worry me. Not so much that he went, but that he come back so tired and strange. Even, he smelled strange. It made my hair stand up on end. I could not endure it and I said, “What is that — those smells on you? All over you!” And he said, “I don’t know,” real short, and made like he was sleeping. But he went down when he thought I wasn’t noticing, and washed and washed himself. But those smells stayed in his hair, and in our bed, for days.

[5] 事情就這樣發生了大概三四次。他每次回來都很晚，而且疲憊不堪，他本來脾氣很好，現在卻面帶慍色——似乎不愿說話。我想每個人都有偶爾出格的時候，嘮嘮叨叨是沒有用的。但這事的確開始讓我不安了，主要原因并不是他的離開，而是他回來時顯得那樣疲倦，那樣奇怪。甚至他身上的味道都是怪怪的。這讓我感到毛骨悚然。終于我無法忍受了，說：“你身上那——那些味道是什么，滿身都是!”他說：“我不知道。”十分簡短，讓人覺得他是睡著了。但是當他以為我沒注意時，他下去使勁地沖洗自己的身子。可那些氣味依然留在他頭發里，留在我們床上，幾天都散不去。

[6] And then the awful thing. I don’t find it easy to tell about this. I want to cry when 1 have to bring it to my mind. Our youngest, the little one, my baby, she turned from her father. Just overnight. He come in and she got scared-looking, stiff, with her eyes wide, and then she begun to cry and try to hide behind me. She didn’t yet talk plain but she was saying over and over, “Make it go away! Make it go away!”

[6] 接著可怕的事情來了。對我來說講這事并不容易，每當我不得不回憶這事的時候我都想哭。我們最年幼的小乖乖小寶貝突然間討厭起她爸爸來了。他進屋時，她一臉驚愕，僵在那里，眼睛瞪得大大的，然后就開始哭，想躲到我身后。她本來話都說不清，這會卻一個勁地說：“讓它滾開!讓它滾開!”

（轉第二頁）

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