許多同學考試時得了某個檔次的分數而不知道其中的原因和癥結所在。現貼上一篇4分作文供大家討論。大家可以暢所欲言,發表自己的觀點,提出建議。我將在10天以后貼出我的評講。(何鋼)
The university should not provide so much theoretical knowledge but give students more practical training. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, recruiting exhibitions holds frequently in many cities, especially in Beijing. Students graduating from universities and colleges lately are usually anxious and worried to take part in because quite a lot of them could not find a satisfying job. What makes it so serous?
It’s no doubt that there are several reasons why employers don’t want to employ new graduated students. But it is most likely that these students lack of practical knowledge about reality.
China used to adopt the old educational system hesitated from Soviet Union. In the past 50 years, Chinese students learnt the same subjects with the same books without any change. But since China has adopted opening policies, the economy of China changed and developed enormously. It requires a lot of talented young people to play important roles in this change. People have to go on learning after work about modern knowledge of Business, Accounting, Computer, Laws, etc. Here raises a question why don’t we handle it in schools, university, or college.
It is time to make a real change to add practical knowledge in the subjects that students learn today.
何鋼點評:
這篇4分作文的最大癥結
文章最主要的問題是嚴重跑題。至于結構和語言,此處不論及。
第一段話只是談到大學生就業難的現狀,而沒有對題目中的問題做出任何回應。
第二段話只是回答了第一段話的問題,稍有觸及practical abilities,但還是沒有回答題目中的問題。
第三段話用了很多篇幅講述中國大學所存在的教學內容陳舊,脫離實際的問題。但是這只是舉例說明加描述,而不是對于題目的分析和解答。
文章直到結尾才真正談到問題的焦點,可是為時已晚。
事實上,跑題(digression)現在已經成為許多考生最需要解決的問題。
有關5分怎樣變6分及8分作文,請參看我的另外的文章。
文章來源于網絡,如有侵權請聯系我們,將會在第一時間處理
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