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05年G類寫作筆記:例文精講

*  1、練習時要學會分析題目中問題出現的原因,這是在考前需要完成的工作。

   2、首段,末段和中間主體段落的首句絕對不能出現語法錯誤。

TopicMost cities have traffic and housing problems. Some people suggest that big companies and factories(核心詞) move to countryside. What’s your opinion?

§ 1首段思路:1、問題存在,嚴重,急需解決(陳述形式,最好加入比喻)

             2、什么是最好的解決方式?(設問形式)

             3、一種觀點認為。

             4、轉折:但是,我(和…)認為…(反方觀點)。

Paragraph 1

①首句用比喻,8分   ?、?FONT face="Times New Roman">what的雙重語法性質,9

Like a disease that troubles the patients, traffic and housing problems in almost every metropolis (big cities, such as…) are what governments must address without any delay. But, how? One theory claims big companies and factories should be moved to the hinterland/countryside. Although it sounds plausible, the theory is not essentially/actually/in fact flawless. [或者:the theory is misleading (undermined by the following facts and figures⑤壓頭韻)

③長短句錯落有致,有節奏韻律變化                ④雙否=強烈肯定

另一種比喻方式:

Tuning into BBC or CNN, you are flooded by various problems. But, what are the most serious? Undoubtedly, they are traffic and housing problems (省略which) each city is confronted with. One theory claims big companies and factories should be moved to the hinterland/countryside. Although it sounds plausible, the theory is not essentially/actually/in fact flawless.

§ 2 主題段落部分

*  1、段首句一定要有明顯的過渡詞,這是6分的基本點。

   2、注意要重復題目中核心詞。

Paragraph 2

①明顯過渡詞                ②長短句結構

To begin with, it is entirely wrong to attribute city housing and traffic problems to big companies and factories. Why? The area that big factories and companies occupy usually accounts(注意主謂一致) for less than (因為area不可數,所以用less,而不是用smaller)15% of the whole city. Hence, big companies and factories contribute little to housing and traffic problems. Moreover, the number of the employees of big companies and factories is (與主語the number保持主謂一致) not large enough to cause traffic and housing problems.

Paragraph 3

Next, to move big companies and factories does not solve the housing and traffic problems. In fact, it harms rather than helps(壓頭韻) city economic development by shifting the problems from city to countryside. Once the big companies and factories are moved to countryside, schools, banks, hospitals, raw material supplies, and the like will also stream into the countryside. When the system becomes a flood, a new city comes into being. Then, the old problems reappear in the “new cities”. In addition, it is these big companies and factories that trigger and lead the city economic development. To remove them, products and services are expensive. Hence, to move them countryside makes little sense.

* 并列關系的句子可減少1-2句,任意去掉哪一句,文章仍然精彩。

§ 3  結尾段:1-2句,必須有結尾標志詞,一定要與首段呼應。

Paragraph 4

①有明顯結尾標志詞 & ②與首段觀點呼應

To sum up, I do not agree that big companies and factories should be moved to countryside. To solve the problem more effectively and efficiently(壓頭韻),擴展時可以加入這樣的詞組, governments and scholars should consider more insightfully.

* 第二句完全可以沒有,只用一句來重申觀點,與首段呼應即可。但是在字數不夠,或有余附時間的情況下,可以加上第二句。To solve….insightfully一句亦可用與口語中環境話題。)

*新東方雅思寫作》P141 ,P144P151三篇文章,是7分范文。


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