前雅思寫作考官知名雅思博客ielts simon 的創(chuàng)始人多年雅思寫作教學經(jīng)驗，考雅思的小朋友都認識他哈，本文將分析他的一篇范文，看9分文章好在哪里?

范文分析：

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

Step1: 審題：

題目有兩個部分:老師不應該給學生留作業(yè)，留作業(yè)很重要=應該留

對應Task Response 元素1 ：

Task response 5分： 只回答上面的1個問題

Task response 6分： 回答了兩個問題

換句話說, 只要你寫2個body 段落, 回答了兩個問題, Task Response 1/3 的分數(shù)就拿到了

Step2: 確定自己的觀點, 并且簡單解釋觀點

對應Task Response 元素2: Give your opinion clearly

你需要在開頭或者結(jié)尾給出自己的觀點

你需要解釋為什么你有這個觀點, 可以是一句話, 比如下面范文寫的

In conclusion, homework certainly has its drawbacks, but I believe that the benefits outweigh them in the long term.

“長期來講, 有好處” 就是在解釋自己的觀點

Step3: Planning !!! 寫作之前計劃很重要!

Planning 每個段落大意

幾個理由， 每個理由是怎樣展開論證的

比如:

Body 1: 留作業(yè)不好

原因1: 留作業(yè)不會提高學習成績

展開-直接舉例子：芬蘭的學校不留作業(yè)， 比留作業(yè)的學校, 學生成績好

所以,大家看到, 這個和我們課程里面學的“舉例子模版” 一模一樣

第1句： a-c 論證原因

第2句： 直接舉例子, 支持原因

只不過,由于我們?yōu)榱舜_保高分, 用了高級別的句子結(jié)構(gòu), 強調(diào)句, 而且每次都用固定的句子結(jié)構(gòu), 避免出現(xiàn)語法錯誤

Task Response 元素3:

sufficiently extend your ideas (8分)

generally extend your ideas (7分)

sometimes inadequately explain your ideas (6分)

下面為大家具體分析 以上3個元素:

1.給出清晰觀點

2.解釋觀點

3.具體展開論證-注意邏輯!

People’s opinions differ as to whether or not school children should be given homework. While there are some strong arguments against the setting of homework, I still believe that it is a necessary aspect of education(提出自己的觀點).

There are several reasons why people might argue that homework is an unnecessary burden on children (概括本段大意). Firstly, there is evidence to support the idea that homework does nothing to improve educational outcomes (第1個原因:不會提高成績). Countries such as Finland, where school children are not given homework, regularly top international educational league tables and outperform nations where setting homework is the norm(舉例子論證: improve educational outcomes 和 outperform 對應!我們課程里面重點講解了舉例子的時候, 例子和原因之間核心詞的對應!不清楚的同學, 請回到Lesson 4 復習!). Secondly, many parents would agree that the school day is already long enough, and leaves their children too tired to do further study when they return home (第2個原因：太累了-導致回家以后不想學習). Finally, it is recognised that play time is just as beneficial as study time from the perspective of brain development(第3個原因：Play 很重要,對于大腦發(fā)展好).

注意：

大家看到第2和第3個原因, 沒有具體展開, 雖然這個是滿分的文章,我個人不建議大家這樣寫, 最好一個觀點寫2句話,深入展開, 保持原因1和原因2, 論證字數(shù),詳細度的平衡，更容易確保高分, 因為壓分很討厭!

第2個原因修改：

Secondly, many parents would agree that the school day is already long enough, and this leaves their children too tired to do further study when they return home. As a result, doing homework may fail to help students review knowledge, or help teachers assess their learning. /

或者 neither nor will fail to .., nor help ..

In spite of the above arguments, I support the view that homework has an important role to play in the schooling of children(雖然上面說的很好,還是認為應該留作業(yè)-和我們講解的讓步反駁結(jié)構(gòu)很像).The main benefit of homework is that it encourages independent learning and problem solving (原因1: 提高獨立思考和問題解決能力), as children are challenged to work through tasks alone and at their own pace(具體原因: 因為學生必須自己完成作業(yè)并且完成作業(yè)的過程中會覺得自己被挑戰(zhàn))(邏輯鏈： 獨立完成+被挑戰(zhàn)-應用課堂里面學習的知識-提高獨立學習和思考能力. 用ABC詞組的類似邏輯,具體展開論證1個觀點). In doing so, students must apply the knowledge that they have learnt in the classroom( 原因2: 承接上面的觀點1, 為了做作業(yè), 學生還必須應用課堂里面的知識). For example, by doing mathematics exercises at home, students consolidate their understanding of the concepts taught by their teacher at school (舉例子: 數(shù)學). In my view, it is important for children to develop an independent study habit because this prepares them to work alone as adults .

整段結(jié)構(gòu)：

第1句: 自己的觀點

第2句：原因1 -解釋原因1

第3句：原因2 in doing so 開始 原因2

第4句：解釋原因2

第5句：重新說自己的觀點

和我們講解的結(jié)構(gòu)基本一樣 。

我們的寫作結(jié)構(gòu), 沒有第5句

我們的詞匯水平,不可能想出來那么多替換詞，

想錯了,就會完蛋..所以,我們才會省略哈

In conclusion, homework certainly has its drawbacks, but I believe that the benefits outweigh them in the long term (重新闡明觀點-寫作業(yè)對于 long term 是好的).

(270 words, band 9)

他在結(jié)尾用了long term 好處來替代Body 2 的主要觀點, 因為 body 2 說了成年以后的好處。

我們很多同學, 達不到這個功力,不到好想到這樣概括

所以,直接概括Body2的兩個原因就可以

e.g. 可以幫助學生獨立思考以及未來處理問題

現(xiàn)在,我們再來看下范文, 有沒有發(fā)現(xiàn),全篇文章沒有1個生詞?

但是沒有1個語法錯誤?

所有觀點都用了2個句子 大概40-50字來展開說明?

所以,詞匯不重要!

所以,詞匯不重要!

所以,詞匯不重要!

不要再抱著某些寫作詞匯書,

不停的背那些永遠都不知道怎么用的高大上詞匯啦!

清晰論證+沒有語法錯誤才是王道!